Facebook | Kevin Seney Author of “midlife drive”
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process
is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”
~ Brene’ Brown, PhD – The Gifts of Imperfection
To break an old habit, it is very helpful to replace the old habit with a new, more empowering habit. This process works.
And, for the same reason, we also create “new stories” in our lives, to replace the old ones that we don’t like. We tell “the story” so often, especially to ourselves, that eventually we believe that “the story” is who we are. We become a character in our own show. There are many reasons that we do this, and for the short term, it probably works.
The process of self examination requires that we look at our “life story” and decide to uncover the truth. We decide to examine the actor, instead of the character. We decide to stand firmly on the ground, instead of on our stage. With no costumes, make-up and special effects, we can become ourselves again.
This process was difficult for me. I was struggling with so many changes in my life, and the pressure of “putting on the daily show” was becoming too much to bear. I did not like my story anymore. I realized that it was no longer about me.
I also discovered that the more “public” your life is, the more complicated your character and your story become. Your story also becomes a “group story,” and “the group” probably does not want you to exit their show.
That is why I decided to leave my secure life behind, and go out on the road. I needed to distance myself from what was safe and familiar, and be alone. I had to escape my “story” and “starve out” my character before I could ever discover the truth about me.
It is hard to be alone. Even when you are surrounded by strangers, you can still feel lonely. But, there is something very therapeutic about driving somewhere I have never been before. The unfamiliar scenery, the strangers, the music on the radio, and the mystery of what lies on the road ahead. It all works.
Please ride along with me.
Facebook | Kevin Seney Author of “midlife drive”
The moment I decided to find the truth in me instead of being the actor in a “story” that had nothing to do with truth was December 1986. The life adventure since then has been the most rewarding, satisfying and terrifying experience of my life. There have been many times of falling into a familiar pit, and mostly times of great satisfaction and joy. It has been the most difficult event in my life to “change” and find the truth in me. Someone told me at a point along my journey that change is almost impossible. If change does happen it will be because of a commitment to not be the “actor” any more in a “story” this is actually an unhealthy myth. Congrats, Kevman. My expectation is that my work and yours on finding our truth is far from over. Safe travels.
Thank you Jimbo! You are my benchmark. I always look at your path, as difficult as it has been, and then I look at where you are today. You have defined for me what is possible (I am also glad that you have a 10 year head start on me). Sometimes I find myself thinking, “holy crap, how will I ever get beyond this mess,” but then I think of you, and suddenly my mess is not really that big. And, what I have learned from you is even better than knowing what is possible down the road, what is really important is knowing that things unfold as they are supposed to, so relax and enjoy today. Tomorrow will arrive anyway. Glad to have you riding along with me… Hugs, KS
I just received this and am totally in awe of the post. I am excited to be invited to follow you. Great food for thought and cause to re-think some things.
Thank you Barbara! KS